How To Learn To Relax

Time Out

Find a place and a time where you will not be interrupted. Moms at home with babies who tend to jump to the chores when babies are sleeping should give themselves the first three to five minutes of baby’s nap time for a little relaxation.

Find a Quiet Place

If you’re at work or home, find a quiet place to sit, or maybe even lie down. Plan for a three to five minute session of relaxation, or as much as fifteen to twenty minutes if you can manage it.

Begin to learn how to relax

Many techniques that teach you to learn to relax focus on two things: pushing tense and distracting thoughts out of your mind for a few minutes, and observing the way you breathe. It sounds pretty simple, but many people find their minds racing with thoughts that will intrude. You may have to do a second or two of adjustment when your mind intrudes on your relaxation time by telling those thoughts you will get back to them shortly. Think of it as similar to putting a person on the phone on hold for just a few minutes.

Focus On Your Breathing

Breath observation can take many forms, including learning how to breathe in specific patterns. Many people find trained breathing a bit tense, especially in the onset. Instead of having to learn to relax, just try to focus on how you're breathing. Ask yourself questions about it that keep you focused. Are your breaths even for instance? Do you breathe deeply, slowly, evenly? With your eyes closed, and with you lying or sitting in a comfortable spot, just allow yourself to focus on that breath and feel it. Remember that nothing is wrong with how you breathe; you’re just there to observe it.

Chances are you can spend a few minutes with your eyes closed simply focusing on your breathing patterns. If you have the time to take a relaxation session slightly longer, you can learn to relax a bit more by starting a “mind scan” of how your body feels. For instance, you can notice if your arms are relaxed, you legs, your toes or your spine. With each exhalation, spend a little time allowing yourself to be fully supported by chair, couch or floor and try to let your body just sink deeply into place. If you get lost, just return to breath observation.

Other Things That Help you relax

Once you’ve mastered this simple relaxation technique,

do some thinking when you have a moment’s free time about other things that may relax you. For instance, some people relax by taking a twenty-minute catnap, or others by getting a massage. A warm bath with aromatic essential oils, or a few minutes of sitting in the sun do it for other people. Look to small easy ways to create circumstances that will help you to learn to relax or are naturally relaxing and comfortable.

Written by Tricia Ellis-Christensen
Edited by O. Wallace
Last Modified: 08 September 2010