Mental Health Forum / Mental Health Support General Discussion / Introduce Yourself

Surviving Bipolar - still laughing!

Kit Johnson — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 11:43:58 GMT

If you are expecting what I might call the usual article about mental health and ‘how I discovered this or that’ and changed my life – forget it. But that’s not say my story should not lift you – quite the contrary!

A few years ago I went to see a Psychiatrist and said ‘could you me help me out’ and he said ‘sure which way did you come in’. So that’s that profession dealt with!

What about meds? I once presented my wife with some Olympic condoms, gold, silver, and bronze, and asked her to choose. She said lets go for silver and see if you can come second for a change! But help is always at hand, for as male readers may concur; SSRI’s have the exact opposite effect! A silver lining if ever there was one. Now I can make love for hours and hours, but never detonate on impact – I mean never! And your lover’s skills are also tempered by the likelihood that during these marathon love making sessions, you will be auditioning to belch for England at the Olympics. So that’s meds dealt with!

I went to my GP and asked him what he thought about Cyclothymics and he said ‘well I couldn’t eat a whole one.’ So that’s the Doctor dealt with!

Ok, ok, ok – time to inject some sanity – sorry no pun intended – the above advice might be just be a bit extreme. I am not against any of the above, but after 45 years with Bipolar, I worked out nothing was working for me. The rule has to be ‘whatever does it for you’ then go with it.

But I do think we, as a society, look for silver bullet solutions too readily; and frankly they don’t exist. I do not believe I can be cured, but I can manage it. The very action of seeking help made me feel a failure. Taking the pills to control my brain made me feel a freak. And you know what – I AM NOT! After all unless you have had a humour by-pass, I’ve already made you laugh – Yes?

My epiphany came the day I realised mocking my condition using the gifts of humour I’d be given, suddenly made me feel good – proud even. And I’ve practiced it ever since. And when my self-deprecation fails me, I hit YouTube and watch some of my favourite comedians. And I do feel better. Of course it won’t do it for everyone, not even me on occasion, but I commend it as something else to consider as you seek that Holy Grail.

I discovered I was Bipolar in my teens. If you liken life to a Rodeo, it felt like someone had seen fit to knobble me with haemorrhoids! I spent a good deal of my life feeling angry. So you are vulnerable to trying anything, and in my experience, it can lead to a succession of disappointments, when you realise you are still the same. But at the time if someone had told me probing sheep’s entrails whilst playing ‘will ye no come back again’ on Bagpipes sitting on a camel would do it – I’d have tried it!

A friend of mine went to his doctor and said ‘I wake up every morning and start singing Delilah’. The doctor says he had Tom Jones’ disease. ‘Is it common?’ asked my friend. ‘Well it’s not unusual’

Bipolar is unusual. But it need not cripple you. Like its close stable-mate, depression, it is debilitating, but that’s no reason to feel shame or pretend you don’t have it and suffer in silence. I now count my blessings. After all, if I did not have the condition I wouldn’t be here writing this, and hopefully bringing a bit of joy to people.

So you’ve just had a measured dose of Kit Johnson, and in those immortal and largely useless words uttered by your counsellor, ‘And how did that make you feel’. A little bit better I hope

intro

margaret — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:25:24 GMT

Hello all,
My name is Margaret I am 49 yo, and am at the moment struggling to cope with things going on in my life that were not, and still not in my control.
anyway hope to get to know you all soon.

Introduce myself

beccasp — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 19:22:02 GMT

Hiya, My name is Rebecca. I am currently doing a Medical Science course at the University of Glamorgan. I Volunteer for numerous charities, including the New Horizons, Alzheimer's Society and I help with events with cancer charities. I am looking to also help with the website.

My interests are in films, science, reading and going to music gigs. I go the cinema nearly any week so if anyone wants advice for current films, I'll be happy to give my opinion.

If anyone needs a chat about anything, I'll be happy to give anyone advice or an ear to listen.

hello gang

benchman — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:19:39 GMT

hello gang I,m new to this i'm 21 years old from south wales i've been diagnosed with depression is there any one elese out there

hello

staners78 — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 08:27:25 GMT

Hello, I'm new to this forum so thought I would introduce myself, I am a 33 yr old male who suffers from schizophrenia, depression and has borderline personality disorder.

I look forward to joining you in your disscussions and hope I will be able to contribute.

living with a transvestit

paulyr — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:49:17 GMT

i would love to talk to any one with any help to help me cope with being in love with guy who is a transvestite need to talk to some one about the difficulty

Hello !

GollyStephens — Tue, 24 May 2011 08:00:34 GMT

Hello,

My name is Golly, how may I help?

Husband needs help

Narna — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 22:52:21 GMT

Hello and nice to meet you all.

My husband has suffered terribly with depression for over 20 years. He had a total Nervous and Mental breakdown at 25, he is now just 49.

He exists on beta blockers and diazepam tablets to help him through the day. He has been on antidepressants but these only help for a minimum of time. He suffers with terrible agrophobia resulting in him not being able to even get out of bed or even lean over the bed to reach up a glass of water. He cannot even get out of the bed to go to the loo. All these medical issues are compounded by huge financial pressures and trying to keep the family going and together.

Over 20 years of depression and the two doctors he has now seem to not really want to know or just raise their eyebrows when he walks in to see them which isnt often as I order his prescriptions online.

Who can I tell just what life is like for him on a daily basis? I go to work and come home hoping some days that he is dead and doesnt have to suffer anymore. Or me listening to the repetitiveness of the same thing over and over again.

We moved to this current house over 13 years ago, it wasnt where we wanted, its out of the way, its become his prison. He doesnt do anything in the house, nothing has been done.

Can I just turn up at an A & E dept, I just dont know what to do anymore. Its not just the depressed person who suffers, it drags the whole family down with it.

At our wits end J and Narna

hello

eddy86 — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 17:46:28 GMT

i'm new in this forum hope i wil get some help here.

verbal abuse...turning physical

claire6170 — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 17:59:03 GMT

Hi All
I am just new to this site today and have joined through desperation as to how to deal with abuse within my relationship.I was with my last partner for 13 yrs, married for 5 of those but eventually left 7 months ago because the relationship was dead and I had fallen out of love with him many years before. He was never once bad to me, just inattentive and cold but I finally decided that I deserved more and left.

I met someone new almost immediately and fell very quickly in love with him. He was and is hugely attentive, loving and fun but after about 6 weeks, he got into a bad mood one evening, i didn't even know why but he became very very angry - it totally threw me as it wasn't the person I knew at all. It was about another 2 months before anything happened again, when we had a daft disagreement over something minor and he flipped completely...became frantic, pacing the house, threatening to walk out, next minute hugging me, next minute shouting etc...this carried on for hours until I pretended to be sleeping.

Since then, things have got progressively worse. We don't ever really disagree over anything but now and again, a small tiny disagreement becomes catastrophic...he has since kicked all furniture over in a hotel room, called me a bitch and spat at me, called me a slag while screaming in my face, and most recently, two days ago, we had an argument and he started to go crazy again. I cant talk to him because he becomes so irrational that he just shouts over the top of me and no matter what i say, he doesn't actually hear me. I pretended to be sleeping as I feel its the only way I can stop him. He came storming into the bedroom shouting. He pulled the tv of the wall, threw it on the ground then trailed me out of bed by my ankles onto the floor where he preceded to scream in my face before storming off.

I am sick trying to talk to him about this because his only defence is that he hates fighting, doesnt want to loose me and just gets frantic when we have a fight as he is worried I will leave. He also says that its my fault as I clam up during a fight and dont argue 'properly'..writing this down has made me realise how ridiculous it all sounds but the reason I am hanging on is because when he is being nice, which is 95% of the time, he is the best in the world. He is perhaps a little too clingy but I can deal with that. I honestly do love him so much as he has so many great qualities...but I cant go on like this and have now taken time off work as I am struggling to hold things together.

Can anyone tell me something to give me hope that I should stick around and give him a chance to fix this? He told me he was never like this before in his last relationship (he was married) and its just because of the way I am but I have since heard that this was not actually the case and that he did loose his temper before. At least I know its not all my fault now Also when he was a child, his father was physically abusive and he had to leave home.....

I just dont know what to do

New and Nervous

pinkpixie — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 20:40:13 GMT

Hi, I have just found the forum after hunting for one after months of the one i used and that helped me shut down...

Im very nervous coming onto here, Im having a hard time at the moment and dont no where i stand with getting help. I have bi-polar disorder and am having a medication change on Tuesday I hope as my current medication has stopped working.

So anyway, hi! I have my quiet times and also my times being very loud and active

Hope you are all well!

Love Pink xx

Hi Everyone

trixi — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 16:08:32 GMT

This is my first time on the site....I posted this message just to say hi to everyone....

Trixi...

hiiiiiiii

Daniel Thomas — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 15:36:41 GMT

hi Every one my name is daniel

HELLO FRIENDS

Deano — Mon, 24 May 2010 11:36:41 GMT

MY NAME IS DEANO AND I AM A VOLUNTEER WITH NEW HORIZONS WEBSITE, DON'T BE SCARED COME IN AND ENJOY!

Hi everyone

MarkTalbotGreen — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 09:52:14 GMT

Hi all,

I'm Mark, recently moved to Talbot Green and have only found out about New Horizons in the last couple of weeks.

A little bit about me...

I work full-time, as a Marketing and Communications Officer, for an organisation which is part voluntary sector, part public sector. I'm a part-time 'mature' student, studying for a research MA at the University of Glamorgan, looking into the sustainability of community radio through alternative business models.

I'm into sport, music, films, comedy, food, friends & family.

I was diagnosed with severe depression six years ago and have experienced the typical rollercoaster ride, that comes with poor mental health, ever since.

I'm keen to work with New Horizons to help raise the profile of the organisation and to give members more of a voice. I'm keen to raise awareness of mental health in general and to help break some of the stigma that is attached to it.

Feel free to drop me a line if you fancy a chat.

Mark

Hi

Jane — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 11:12:38 GMT

Hi there,

I'm Jane...based in Manchester. Interested in support and advice ...and maybe meeting some new people! Love music and art and interested in alternative health.

Jane

Know About THem Who Know YOu.

johndouglas — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:57:03 GMT

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HI, I am johndouglas,
please disscussion on my Topic.
Thanks,

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johndouglas

hi

sid501 — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 14:33:00 GMT

hi my name is simon, just wanted to say hello.

Just joined today.

toonafish — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:59:03 GMT

Hiya, Im not sure but I think i was a member ages ago but it looked alot different.

Nikki, 33, from Scotland. Have GAD, and I think, a mild bi polar? Still not been diagnosed (10 years on).

Have been doing well since getting out of hospital but this time of year stresses me out and feeling a bit edgy

Hope to speak to you all soon. xx

Helooooo

karly — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:45:30 GMT

I'm karly and i live in the Swansea area....

I joined this just to get a few things of my chest because im sure my best mate has had enough of me going on by now

I'm currently feeling very depressed...yet again! I've been like this since i was about 13. I get depressed for months at a time and then all of a sudden i'll go crazy for a few months, throwing partys, jumping on my roof, going for walks in the rain at 3 in the morning :s lol...then i come back to this...hate it! no confidence, no motivation to do anything, feeling like everyone hates me. I've pushed all my friends away and will only leave my house on the weekend to get so drunk that i don't remember or stoned....either way.

I'm not on any medication as I'm STILL waiting to talk to someone (it's been three months now) I just feel at breaking point at the moment and praying that my mood will change soon or i have a feeling something bad will happen =/

if anyone wants to chat feel free

Greetings From the Valleys

cadno ap annwn — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:28:35 GMT

Hi All

Well I have to admit I was shocked to find a site like this for people in Wales. Before I go into why a little about myself is in order

My name is Richard and I have Schitzoaffective disorder, well actually I have it has me but we'll see who wins lol. As you can tell I'm quite ok with this, its taken me a few years to get my head around it but ultimately I had two good factors in my life, my wife and my friends.

The reason why I was shocked is due to the lack of groups that seem to be in my area. I attended a hospital group called 'dealing with voices' and that is pretty much the only thing I ever found here. I'm aware that in Bridgend there are groups but around her in good old RCT I'm at a loss!

So I find myself here, I have to say the place looks great and I hope in time I can meet new people, help out wherever possible and most of all (if you guys don't mind) have a safe place to discuss my problems or for another way of looking at it, my victories in regards to my condition.

Rich

Ciao!

Julio-Cesare — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:03:46 GMT

Hi. I'm not sure if this is the right place for me. Reading the entries, I don't know if this is a generic mental health support area, of a more Wales-specific thing - it certainly seems like that from what I read! I am a long way from Wales..

I have a friend staying with me, and I am very concerned for her. Which forum should I post to for advice and guidance on how best to deal with this? I have no training or specialist knowledge whatsoever, I am just a concerned friend, who sees a close friend in real difficulty, and complete denial about her own problems.. I fear I may have taken on more than I can handle...

thanks for any ideas, pointers, etc. J-C

hi

hospital44 — Mon, 18 May 2009 14:39:49 GMT

hi my names vince im new 2 this forum hope 2 b accepted well looking forward 2 ev ones views etc

Hi all!

Clare Coxley — Mon, 18 May 2009 11:46:23 GMT

Hi everyone my name is Clare I've recently joined New Horizons as a volunteer. I am offering help and support in the Internet Cafe between 1pm and 3pm on a Monday please feel free to come and join me. If there is anything you would like to learn, whether its computer basics, email, letters, posters etc. I will be happy to help.

Hello all!

sammydinks — Tue, 05 May 2009 23:00:24 GMT

I live in Aberdeen and work as a Social Worker but unfortunately i am invaded by mental health problems (depression). I've been on medication for 15 years and find that it works well....but then out of the blue, for no reason, i become really unwell.

My last period of illness was in November 08 when i attempted suicide (third time) and was hospitalised. Now i'm becoming unwell again and have had thoughts of harm again.

I just need some help in how i can get through this again....weach time it appears it gets worse, i'm only 43 and can't imahine i can go through this much more often....any ideas or tips to cope with the madness that takes me over?

Hey Everyone

Man of gwent — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:26:10 GMT

My name is David im 39 from Gwent I suffer from depression and have found this forum very help.wot dose evey one else think.

hello every one

john — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 10:40:45 GMT

hi my name is john i come to new horizons as a volanteer so most day i'm here and there if you want to chat with me

Hello

odysseus — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:42:51 GMT

Hi, I have suffered from clinical depression but have had a reasonably good year or so. I am still working through things and am hoping to take on some voluntary work soon. Paul. Cardiff

Hi, Newby!

Lozzi — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:06:46 GMT

Hiya, I'm Lozzi, I'm 21, been diagnosed with bipolar disorder this month and seeing my pdoc tomorrow to get my prescription of lithium.

Anyways, thought it better to say hi

HELLO!

cardiff kid — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:53:20 GMT

Hello all, i'm Chris 32 years old from Cardiff I've been viewing this forum for a few weeks and have recently joined. i'm hoping to find friends with mental health issues, that actually understand